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A local mum has opened up about the challenges of homeschooling and the pressure she has been putting on herself, encouraging other parents to take each day at a time and speak to their friends.
Vicky O’Neill, founder of Mum Space, a network for mums who meet up through workshops and other events, has been working from home with her two children (3 and 5) since schools closed.
An administrator, Vicky says her employer has been supportive, telling her “first and foremost your mental health is the main thing”.
But she admits she has been struggling with her work and homeschooling - the latter of which she says has led her to feel considerable pressure.
“I just think I haven’t been good at my job or for my family,” Vicky told Express. “I am comparing myself to other parents - some have done flash cards, painted cardboard boxes, and I am here pacing my kitchen not knowing what to do!”
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Pictured: Vicky's children didn't like the vegetable muffins they helped bake.
While she has tried to do “wholesome” and crafty activities with her children, Vicky says they can be wasted when her children don't show any interest in them.
As an example, she recalls how she cooked vegetable muffins with her children, only for them to call them “disgusting” when they were out of the oven.
But this struggle isn't uncommon. Many parents, Vicky notes, will have difficulties finding the time for such activities on top of work and housework.
“Everyone has this idea of everyone being 'wholesome',” she said. “You put pressure on yourself that it’s an opportunity to do all these things, but if you have got to work, I do think it’s very hard-going for parents to juggle all that.
“Then there is the possibility of one or both of us losing our jobs. The stark reality is that it’s quite scary, and that underpins everything.”
Pictured: "Flexible working is great but there is only so much flexibility when it’s all heaped together.”
“Some companies are asking for 90% output but it’s impossible. When it’s just you in the kitchen, yes, you can do that easily, but when you have kids running around."
She continued: "Your entire life is in this bubble - work and family. It’s all blurred and bundled together. Flexible working is great, but there is only so much flexibility when it’s all heaped together.”
Vicky also says she puts herself under pressure regarding her children’s education, fearing they are not going to remember anything. Luckily, she adds, her children’s school has been “really good” and their teachers have been very reassuring, even calling in to check on things.
“The teachers have not put any pressure on us,” Vicky explained. “They said, ‘We understand you are not teachers and we are not expecting you to be.' They have given us things to look at. They said to carry on reading, play games that might involve numbers or looking at letters. It’s a nice approach.”
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Video: Vicky has been taking inspiration from Five Minute Mum for some fun games.
Amid this “peculiar set of circumstances, Vicky has been relying on simple things and what her children like, such as walks and boardgames.
“Luckily, we have a garden. They love bouncing on the trampoline so they have been doing that a lot,” she said.
“We have been going for isolated walks, which we do normally, so it feels a bit more normal.”
She has also been using the games put together by 'Five Minute Mum', which she says are really easy and quick to set up with things that are around your house, and following coping strategies from Psychologist Dr Emma Svanberg, who is known as @mumologist.
Pictured: "My Whatsapp has become a bit of a lineline," Vicky says.
Vicky has also been finding support through Whatsapp, which she describes as a "lifeline".
“My friends are all struggling,” she said. “We are all feeling we are not doing our job and not being good mums and dads.
“Make sure you speak to your friends and family... It’s good to be able to be sending a message asking if anyone else is having a s*** day…
"We are all having a bit of a hard time, but that’s ok. You think you are the only one who is not coping, but most people are feeling that way the same as you are. You are not on your own. We are wading through as much as we can.”
Pictured: "Just try and make sure you take every day as it comes," Vicky said.
Vicky’s main advice to other parents? Take things one day at a time.
“Do not put so much pressure on yourself, do not put pressure on yourself to teach your children,” she said.
“Your children are safe in the house - that’s the biggest thing... Do not compare yourself if you can, it only makes you feel absolutely rubbish.
"I am really guilty of comparing myself, but it steals all your joys.”
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