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They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery – but when does it go to far?
Here's what Jersey's favourite socialite – and agony aunt – had to say...
Dear Fenella,
This is a bit of a weird one, but I’m at a complete loss about what I should do. There’s this woman at work – we’re friendly but not super close. Whilst she seems really nice, I’ve noticed that she’s been copying me and it’s really cheesing me off.
It started out with small things like complimenting my outfit and asking where I got my shoes or my clothes from. Next thing I know, she’s coming into work wearing the exact same things! But it’s started getting more and more intense. Like at the staff party, I realised that she’s recently started dating someone who looks exactly like my boyfriend.
She’s even picked up some of my in-jokes with colleagues and started passing them off as her own. I know imitation is a form of flattery, but I’m starting to feel like this person wants to steal my life!
Send help.
Copycatted in Carrefour Selous
Hi babes,
You’ve come to the right place. If there’s anyone in the world who understands how annoying it is to be followed around by annoying wannabes, it’s me. That’s one of the few downsides to being a stunning, charismatic, successful #girlboss with an international business portfolio and great facial symmetry.
Listen, I am all about women supporting women. And, speaking as a trailblazing She-E-O, nothing makes me happier than paving the road for others to seek success. But, if I had pound for every poser trying to ride my coat tails I would be rich. I mean, richer than I already am from being an heiress.
At the end of the day, you’re right. Her copying you is a compliment. She clearly thinks you have great taste in fashion and men, so it’s just a slightly creepy way of her showing that she likes your style.
The trouble is that there is no way to bring her copycat-ness to anyone’s attention without people accusing you of being super self-absorbed. I know this from experience when I tried to convince everyone that Kim Kardashian only went blonde to try and look more like me.
The world just wasn’t ready to hear it. But that’s their problem, not mine. I mean, do they realise how ridiculous they sound? Me? Fenella Bond? Self-absorbed? I mean, it’s just laughable really. Do they know I’m an Agony Aunt and I gave money to charity that one time for tax purposes??! Ugh, I have such a hard life.
I guess the main thing to establish is whether she’s an Oh-I-wish-I-had-her-wardrobe kind of copycat or an Oh-I-want-to-murder-her-and-wear-her-skin kind of copycat.
Though I think I’m great at giving advice (obvs) I’d like to think that if it was the latter, you would have contacted the police instead of your local Socialite-come-Agony-Aunt. But hey, it’s always good to check!
If we’re dealing with your regular, non-stabby copycat, the way I see it, you have a few options:
Ignore her.
Don't engage, don't look at her and certainly don't tell her where your clothes are from (just say it's thrifted). Try not to let her get to you. Hopefully she'll just get bored and find a different person's life to emulate.
Confront her. Go full Regina George and ask her point blank why she's so obsessed with you.
Tell her to find her own style and her own personality and to leave you the heck alone.It's a risky move, but she might stop idolising you if you're mean to her.
Test how far she's willing to copy you. Drastically change your look. Shave your head, bleach your eyebrows, get a piercing, only wear ballgowns, whatever you need to do to keep her on her toes.
If she does the same as you then you (and the rest of the office) will see her for what she really is: a loser copycat.
But if she keeps to her (and your) original look then you'll know that you just have really similar taste, but she just has no creative flair/imagination.
Maybe you’d just be better off handing in your notice so you can be stylish in peace.
Out copycat the copycat. Whatever she has that hasn't been stolen from you, copy it. Repeat stuff she says. Get your colleagues to call you a new nickname that's really similar to her name. Give her a taste of her own medicine so she knows that you're onto her.
Whichever of these ingenious options you put into practice (you're welcome), remember that in life there are trendsetters and trend followers. And you can't help but be someone that people want to copy.
And the cross that us trendsetters must bear is that there will always be someone trying to be like us. So, we’ve got to keep it moving, keep it fresh and always give them something to talk about. Omg I’ve just been struck with what a responsibility being popular is. I’m going to need to go get a massage to decompress.
Love you long time,
Auntie Fenella xxx
This article first appeared in the August edition of Connect Magazine which you can read in full below....
