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Is it time to rename Jersey? And could the island benefit from its very own Disney (Les Landes)?
These are just a few of the ways a self-taught Jersey musician, who has been rock 'n rolling, gigging, performing, writing, and recording, for as long as he can remember, thinks the island could be jazzed up.
Johnny Moth (Johnny Le Blancq) has played in an eclectic mix of bands, including The Moths, The Deadbeats, and his longest-running ensemble The Cryptics, which has taken the stage at many gigs and festivals over the years.
With his daughter Edie Le Blancq and other collaborators, he makes music videos at picturesque locations around the island, and creates recordface photos which are on display as part of Jersey's 'Mixtape' exhibition at the Private and Public Gallery alongside works by Warhol and Banksy.
Being a creative, he is full of innovative deas on how the island could be changed for the better - but, for Express, he reduced those down to just five...
Pictured: Cabaret performances used to be on offer in Portelet Bay.
A common criticism of Jersey is that there are a lack of decent music venues. I do agree with that, but most importantly there is a serious lack of decent cabaret venues.
Back in the 70s and 80s, one was spoilt for choice for late-night club entertainment. There was Caesar's Palace, Swansons Hotel, and the world famous Wunderbar Biergarten at the Pomme D’Or Hotel, among many others. There you would be treated to delights such as Dukes and Lee, Bob Anthony, Diane Cousins, Pat Mooney and Stuart Gillies, plus a host of other giants of light entertainment.
We need to get this magical feeling back into the late-night venues of Jersey, singalongs and dancing girls, blue comedy and disco lights. Something to put a smile on people’s faces. I hear The Krankies are available.
Pictured: Johnny wants a theme park for Islanders to blow off some steams.
Jersey needs a world-beating theme park to really put it on the map: think Blobby Land but less sinister.
Take the millions earmarked for the new hospital and instead spend it wisely on a huge, state of the art Jersey-based theme park. Use an area of Jersey that has little interest to people, St. Mary, and redevelop it with rides (speed must not exceed 20mph), delicious food stalls selling only Jersey delicacies (Bean Crocq, Jersey Wonders, and um Bean Crocq) and costumed Jersey characters to keep the public entertained (Bergerac, Oscar Puffin and Humfrey the Lion).
Guaranteed fun for everyone.
Pictured: The Jersey Battle of Flowers takes place every summer and sees most parishes spending months putting together a float.
I have always found it a shame that after all the hard work put in making the Battle of Flowers floats, they are only used for one day.
I think it would be a great thing to allow the people of Jersey to buy the floats for everyday life. Imagine rocking up to the Co-op in a 50ft Pirates of the Caribbean themed float, Jack Sparrow costume optional, or doing the morning commute in a Grease float, complete with jive dancers and followed by a Spider-Man marching band.
Admittedly, you would have to add an extra four hours to your travel time, but just imagine the joy you will be bringing to your fellow travellers.
Pictured: could a Bergerac spin-off be what the Island needs?
“Bring back Bergerac” is a cry oft heard around this island.
Well he’s too old now, and more than likely retired, so how about 'Son of Bergerac'? He’s a non-drinking, vegan, rule-following, anti-violence, electric car driving, politically correct, environmentally-friendly Positive Action Coordinator employed by the Bureau Des Etrangers.
Actually, that sounds rubbish... just repeat Bergerac.
Pictured: Johnny wants the Island to have a 'fresh new' name.
The name 'Jersey' is a bit dull, associated with boring things like jumpers and cows.
We need to give it a fresh new update, so we can attract a hip young crowd to visit here instead of going to a hot, beautiful, exotic location for a quarter of the cost.
Here are a few ideas: Tic Toc Island, Harrystylesland, Pulse, Island McIsandface, New New Jersey, Jersey Prime, Dave, and The Shegland Isle.
What five things would you change about Jersey? Let us know!
Email editor@bailiwickexpress.com.
