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2023 flew by. For readers younger than me – and most of you are – my advice is don’t wait, get on with it, because time accelerates as you get older. It is also the message for government, which has spent 18 months talking about doing things, consulting on every little thing and not actually doing very much.
Presumably the thinking is, the less they do, the fewer voters they will upset.
But enough of that.
As the season of goodwill descended upon us last month, I decided to ask Father Christmas to give presents to various government ministers and deserving politicians. With the period now past us – so there shouldn’t be any Christmas gift spoilers – the contents of that letter can now be revealed…
Dear Santa,
it has been a dull year in local politics, but our elected representatives have done their best and, whether they have been naughty or nice, I would be grateful if you would give them a Christmas gift. With so much to do at this time, I thought you might appreciate some help in choosing their presents.
Chief Minister Kristina Moore: A year’s subscription to Leadership Jersey events, to help her understand that there is more to it than photo-ops with other politicians on overseas junkets. And because she is the boss, an extra present: a compilation video of her news reading and reporting on ITV Channel, to remind her of something at which she really was good.
External Relations Minister Philip Ozouf: He has stoically endured an annus horribilis and deserves sympathy and a copy of D:Ream’s 1994 hit, ‘Things Can Only Get Better’.
Economic Development Minister Kirsten Morel: For the person charged with growing the economy, a mission that has proved beyond so many of his predecessors, a copy of ‘The Pursuit of Worldly Wisdom’ the collected views of Charlie Munger. One example, “Excessive regulation can place an undue burden on businesses. The costs associated with compliance, such as licensing fees, inspection requirements, and paperwork, can create significant barriers to entry. This stifles competition and limits economic growth, ultimately hurting both businesses and consumers”.
Environment Minister Jonathan Renouf: A hair shirt, in a sensitive shade of forest green.
Home Affairs Minister Helen Miles: It seems she has already been given Happy Potter’s invisibility cloak, so a telephone directory, every entry with the number 999, to remind her that long ago government acknowledged responsibility to provide emergency services call handling with an action plan which had a 2018 completion date (see States of Jersey Telecommunications Strategy). Yet still JT, one of three telephone service operators, is the sole provider of the service and lumbered with the cost and dealing with the JCRA.
Health Minister Karen Wilson: A long stay in an NHS hospital, so she may better understand the faults and failings of the system into which she is leading our health service.
Infrastructure Minister Tom Binet: A suit of armour, which he is undoubtedly going to need it, and a sword to cut through the opposition he will face, not least from his Cabinet colleagues.
Social Security Minister Elaine Millar: A small bouquet as acknowledgement of her public support for her staff when they came under fire, even when they made mistakes and got things wrong.
Housing Minister David Warr: A scrapbook of cuttings from the articles and letters he wrote in the JEP before he was elected, as a reminder of the views he expressed before he joined the club.
Treasury Minister Ian Gorst: I was going to suggest an abacus, but he got 10/10 for arithmetic at school and he can do long division without a calculator. So, how about a copy of ‘Janet and John Learn To Cut Costs’? Here is an extract: “John says, ‘We are spending too much’. ‘Yes’ says Janet, ‘Taxes will have to go up’. ‘Sod that for a game of soldiers,’ says John.”
Education Minister Inna Gardener: After a year in which children have been the unfortunate piggies in the middle of a trial of strength between government and trade unions, a copy of ‘Getting to Yes’ by Roger Fisher and William Ury. First published in 1981, it offers a way of resolving the most intractable of disputes and is as relevant today as it was then. She should read it then pass it on the States Employment Board.
Leader of Reform Jersey Sam Mézec: To share with his party comrades, a copy of German economist Kristian Niemietz’s book ‘Socialism: The Failed Idea That Never Dies’. He writes: “Over the past hundred years, there have been more than two dozen attempts to build a socialist society. It has been tried in the Soviet Union, Yugoslavia, Albania, Poland, Vietnam, Bulgaria, Romania [many more listed] among others. All attempts have ended in varying degrees of failure.”
New Assistant Chief Minister Simon Crowcroft: A car without a parking space and a bicycle that automatically stops at red lights and cannot be ridden in pedestrian only areas or the wrong way on one-way streets, on which he can set an example to others
Former Assistant Chief Minister Andy Jehan: the rarely awarded POOH medal (Politician Of Outstanding Honour) for his integrity in resigning as Assistant Chief Minister over the waste of public money in the Health Department.
Thank you, Santa, and a Merry Christmas to one and all.
